UTAH (ABC4) – David Archuleta, American Idol’s season seven runner-up, has recently turned to face his demons head-on and is now ready to live his most authentic life.
The 31-year-old Utah resident is a devoted Latter-day Saint who even served a two-year mission in Chile, so it came as a surprise to America when he publicly came out as gay in June of 2021.
In a recent Instagram video post, Archuleta utilized the social media platform as a soundboard of sorts, spilling his inner struggles and emotions to his fans, telling them he needs to “let out some of the steam inside of me that’s building up”.
In his video, Archuleta revealed that he is having difficulties preparing for his upcoming tour due to disturbing inner battles he’s been forced to confront.
“I can no longer… pretend like everything’s fine,” he says in the post.
One of the religious teachings which is strongly emphasized is that marriage between a man and a woman “is everything,” explains Archuleta. “It’s ordained by God.”
The artist states that that was his plan all along, to marry a woman in the temple, have children, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, life isn’t always that easy on us.
Archuleta went on to speak of the feeling of connection and chemistry one experiences during physical and sexual attraction to another, saying he was never able to provide that in the heterosexual relationships he’s been a part of, despite trying to “overcome the lack of feelings… and make it work,” he says.
“But there’s this really strange emotion that comes up each time I would try and do that – this guilt, the shame, (that I wasn’t) good enough… You start feeling bitter towards the girls, in my case, and I just didn’t even want to see them anymore.”
Archuleta was stuck living his life wearing a mask that hid who he really is.
In his faith, the singer was taught that being involved romantically or sexually with a man would make him feel unhappy and lost in his religious ways.
Archuleta spoke of the depression and suicidal ideation he faced as a result of his inner turmoil, saying the reality of his attractions mixed with his communities expectation of him to marry a woman “caused me to despise myself.”
It dawned on the musician that change was needed for him to be able to see himself in a better light.
That’s when Archuleta said he began to wonder if God would prefer him to be with someone “who is the same as me,” or “not being here and not existing.”
At the end of the day, he decided life was worth the fight – “even if I’m gay.”
Archuleta accepted his challenge with grace when he received a message from his higher power after continually asking for his attractions to be terminated: “You need to stop asking me this because I’m not going to change this.”
Today, the Latter-day Saint is at peace with his true identity and feels God’s unconditional love for who he really is day-in and day-out.