The Justice Files: Life after rape

SALT LAKE CITY (ABC4 Utah) – Bryan Beggs lived in shame and became an outcast after he was sexually assaulted.

He was 12 years old when a man he trusted molested him.

“He just got off the bed and started undressing himself and things happened very quickly,” Beggs said. “It was very uncomfortable.”

The sexual attacks happened again and again before he finally ended it. Beggs never enjoyed it and was afraid. But he never told his parents.

“I grew up in a household that looked at homosexuality as the worse thing a person could be,” said Beggs. “I think it was embarrassment. I was terrified of my dad.”

It turned his life upside down. He rebelled at school and turned to drugs and alcohol to escape.

“As a child, you have this innocence and when it happened, I lost it all completely,” he said. “So for me, there was nothing I could do that was too gross, too bad, too evil because I had already done it.”

Years later, his family enrolled him in alcoholics anonymous, a non-profit group that helps people battling alcohol problems. He finally told his secret to his sponsor.

“I realized holy cow, something happened to me as a kid that shouldn’t have happened,” he recalled. “Because in my head, we just had sex, we just had sex. But I didn’t want to.”

From there, he told his parents who insisted he file a police report.
But it came down to his word against his friend’s and charges were never filed.

Beggs said he was OK with that.

“I knew the legal ordeal would be for me having to sit down and re-live it, right?” Beggs said. “All I wanted to do was say it and get it over with.”

Ironically, the worse thing that ever happened to Beggs gave him a purpose in life.

“I am not going to let the man who damaged me as a kid destroy my future,” he said.

On Facebook, Beggs uses a unique approach in reaching out to other victims of sexual assault by telling his story using note cards.

He came to terms understanding it wasn’t his fault and wanted victims to understand that message.

“I didn’t want it to end by saying this is what happened to me,” Beggs said. “I wanted more. And that’s why I ended it with ‘hey you, it’s all about you.’ All of this is about you and lifting you up so we can join forces and go help the next one,” he said.

Beggs said once he opened up, others reached out to him to disclose they were victims too.

His only concern is those who still remain silent.

“You are not alone,” he wants them to know.

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