HEBER CITY, Utah (ABC4) — The Heber City Police Department is warning the public not to drink and drive this Halloween after a “high-speed chase” ended in what police are calling a “splat” of an 857-year-old victim.
In a humorous public service announcement posted on social media, Heber City police said they responded to a “suspicious projectile” that was flying through town on Main Street and 500 South. When police attempted a traffic stop, the victim, identified as “The Salems Revenge Witch” allegedly began casting spells and flying through town at high rates of speed.
A pursuit reportedly ensued but ended abruptly when the witch crashed into a telephone pole. Police confirmed the witch’s extended life came to a tragic end. Officers said they were unable to remove the witch’s body from the telephone pole, due to a hex being placed on the location.
“Attention witches and ghouls, we are not in the habit of making examples out of other sorceresses’ mistakes but this crone had it coming,” said Heber City Police in a statement. “If you’re going to go out on the night, drinking potions and elixirs after a long day of summoning and rituals, remember to drink responsibly.”
Heber City Police recommended calling “a goblin or troll” for a ride home instead of flying through town. Investigators said speed was also a factor in the witch’s collision with the telephone pole, prompting the police department to also remind drivers to slow down.
A black flame vigil will be reportedly held later this week, during a full moon, by The Salems Revenges coven, subordinates and apprentices. ABC4 can not confirm the time, location, or validity of this event.