When you and your partner parent differently

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What happens when you and your partner parent differently? Reva Cook, LCSW of The Healing Group was here today to talk us through a subject we don’t hear tacked enough!

Parents often disagree about how to raise their kids, in both big and small ways. It’s really common, but can cause a lot of conflict. Luckily, there are steps to work on it. Below are Reva’s tips.

Recognize where it comes from:

  1. Our parents’ parenting
  2. Our values and priorities
  3. Our visions and dreams about being a parent
  4. Research and study. 

It’s not necessary that we agree on every little thing, but it t is important that parents try to come to an agreement on big stuff. This is important because it reduces conflict in the parent relationship- which means less distress for the kids- and also because it creates a sense of security and safety in their world. We need to develop a joint parenting philosophy with our partner. 

But as the grown-ups, our job is to parent well together:

  1. Regulate our own emotions- helpful mantras/reminders
  2. Get Curious
  3. Create a philosophy and framework together.
  4. Be open to the influence of the other (most important)


Reva has a new online Q&A education event called Ask a Therapist! Participants’ questions about important topics answered by the experts. This month’s topic is Managing Mom Rage. Link in her instagram bio at @revacooklcsw hop online for more www.thehealinggroup.com

Deena Manzanares
Deena Marie Manzanares is a Utah native, but lived in NYC for a few years while attending the Atlantic Theater Company Acting School. Locally, she has worked as a professional actor for years in both stage and film.

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