Ashley Lovell from Covenant Sex Therapy joined us today and talked all about sex therapy and gave advice for couples.  

When giving advice to couples, Lovell said that there are a few things she keeps in mind. First, she said that anyone can benefit from couples therapy at any point in their relationship and that there is no right or wrong time frame for going to therapy. Next, she also said that it’s important to look at a relationship holistically instead of placing all the blame for things going poorly in a relationship on one person. A relationship is a partnership and operates on a 50-50 basis she said.  

Lovell also gave us some sex therapy advice and gave us six steps on how to resolve intimacy issues. The techniques used are referred to as sensate focus which is rooted in mindfulness and began in the 1960s.  

The first step is to use non-touching, which infers being in the moment without any type of sexual touching. The next step is to engage in touch followed by adding lubricant and lotion. Then the use of mutual touching is followed by sensual intercourse. 

Lovell said that following these steps can help to alleviate the expectations that partners will sometimes go into intimate experiences with. Having these expectations that don’t occur can leave members of the partnership feeling disappointed and can be triggering. Sensate focus can also help individuals who have experienced trauma and those who have other difficulties engaging in intimacy. 

You can connect with Lovell on her website at covenantsextherapy.com and on her Instagram at @covenanttherapy