SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (GOOD THINGS UTAH) — Loni Harmon, also known as The Dating Counselor on social media, joined us on the show to take a deep dive into each of the hosts’ attachment styles and how they impact their relationships.
Where couples once focused heavily on love languages, they have recently turned to attachment styles. Formed by relationships in your childhood, past relationships with romantic partners, and also your relationship with yourself, your attachment style says a lot about how you show up with others. Harmon had each of the ladies complete a personal assessment that identified whether they were anxious, avoidant or secure.
To each of their surprise, some of their results were different than they had anticipated. Harmon helped Surae, Deena and Savvy understand what this means in each of their relationships. Knowing your attachment style can help you tremendously when dating because it can identify what you need in a relationship. The goal is secure attachment, where you feel safe confiding in your partner in a healthy way.
For those who are curious to identify their attachment style, here is the list of Quiz questions:
- It makes me nervous when my partner gets too close.
- I often worry that my partner will stop loving me.
- An argument with my partner doesn’t usually cause me to question our entire relationship.
- When I show my partner how I feel, I’m afraid they will not feel the same about me.
- I find it difficult to emotionally support my partner when they are feeling down.
- I don’t feel the need to act out much in my romantic relationships.
- I fear that once someone gets to know the real me, they won’t like who I am.
- My independence is more important to me than my relationships.
- When my partner is upset I naturally know how to help him or her calm down.
- When I’m not involved in a relationship I feel somewhat anxious and incomplete.
- I hate feeling that other people depend on me.
- Sometimes people see me as boring because I create little drama in relationships.
- miss my partner when we’re apart but then when we’re together I feel the need to escape.
- I have little difficulty expressing my needs and wants to my partner.
- If someone I’ve been dating begins to act cold and distant I’ll worry that I’ve done something wrong.
- I find that I bounce back quickly after a breakup. It’s weird how I can just put someone out of my mind.
- I worry that if my partner leaves me I might never find someone else.
- If someone I’ve been dating begins to act cold and distant I may wonder what’s happened but I’ll know it’s probably not about me.
Learn your attachment style and sign up for Harmon’s newsletter at Thedatingcounselor.com
Also listen to her Podcast “The Dating Counselor” to learn more about all things dating.