- On Good Things Utah this morning – Do you pick fights with the people you love? I’m not talking about actual fistfights. Nor am I talking about people you love who may mistreat you. Rather, I’m referring to the moves you make that put distance between you and the people in your life who are loving and safe. These moves often include things like accusing, assuming, and getting hung up on semantics. Whether you use these moves or others, these fights promote disconnection rather than strengthening your bond. Although it happens, disconnection is rarely your end goal. Nor do you pick fights to be mean, uncaring, or harmful to your loved one. Most likely, you’re fighting because of something they said or did. As a result, you’re left wondering: Am I understood? Am I valued? Am I safe? When you fear the answer is no, your fight-flight-freeze response takes over — regardless of your loved one’s intentions.
- Unfortunately, the human mind is quite good at creating stories that can easily rev up the fight response. Some examples are, when someone you love backslides to annoying behaviors, challenges your words, or gives you less consideration. You might tell yourself they don’t really care about me, simply don’t respect me, or I don’t matter very much to them. But in reality, people can backslide when they’re tired, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to maintain change. To read more click here: https://www.yourtango.com/self/trick-stop-picking-fights We hope you tune in for this Hot Topic and so much more this morning on a Wednesday edition of GTU.
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