How to know if you are a ‘foster boyfriend’

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“Foster boyfriend” and “foster girlfriend” are recently coined dating slang, referring to that relationship you have with somebody who then goes on to commit to somebody else, i.e. they find their “forever home.” More and more straight single women appear to be identifying as serial foster girlfriends, like Australian radio producer Jana Hocking. “I had filled in time for these blokes, listened to many of their, ‘I’m just not quite ready for a girlfriend’ speeches (and said a fair few of those speeches myself) and to be fair, had a marvelous time with them before they turned on their vacant taxi light and picked up the next traveler for a life of commitment and dirty nappies,” she wrote in a recent article.

While foster boyfriend is a relatively new term, the phenomenon has been around for a while. It was the entire premise of a romantic comedy back in 2007; Good Luck Chuck followed a “cursed” Dane Cook, who had women lining up around the block because they’d heard the stories that anybody who went to bed with him would immediately then find their very own Prince Charming.

It can be frustrating and hurtful to learn that the person who said “it’s not you, it’s me” and promised you they just weren’t ready to settle down has done exactly that with somebody else. It’s equally difficult not to internalize the idea that you’re the problem. But is there anything we can actually do to break out of this cycle? There are a few different reasons why you might find yourself being a foster boyfriend or girlfriend. First and foremost, you and your ex clearly weren’t right for each other. If he or she is so open to commitment with somebody else, then it’s likely that the issue was compatibility.

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Nicea DeGering
Nicea loves morning television in Utah! A self-proclaimed “night person,“ she has been getting up and hopping onto the Good Things Utah set for over a decade now.

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