(Good Things Utah) The truth is, we often don’t tell ourselves, or others, all of the facts because the truth can feel scary or because we don’t want to hurt feelings. Chances are it could be because we want to keep everyone happy, and because of how we’re socialized to behave.

We have tips from Heather Frazier, a professional Life Coach on what telling the whole truth can look like:

  • To a husband: “I’m disappointed that you didn’t follow through with what we had talked about, and I get that it’s been a crazy week for you.”
  • When asked to do something: “I am happy you thought of me, and I really want to, but I already feel overextended this weekend, so I need to pass this time.”
  • With yourself: “I want to end this relationship, but it is also comforting to keep. I fear being alone, and what others might think.”
  • With your kids: “I am so excited for you to move out this fall, but will also miss you and worry, and still, I know this is best, and it will be both exciting and hard for me.”
  • With your mother: “I can’t cater to all of the time you want to spend together. I know this is upsetting for you, and I am sorry, but I also need to maintain the schedule that works for me. I love you and am available to hang out once a week. I will answer your calls when I can, but otherwise, please know I love you just the same.”

When we tell the whole truth we gain a better understanding of ourselves, which helps to gain clarity in decision making and boundary setting. This is also a huge gift we give to others because we aren’t withholding info that can feel manipulative or dishonest. This is the opposite of people pleasing and can feel hard at first, but liberating once practiced. 

To learn more about Heather and how she can assist you, visit her website, Instagram, Facebook, and also her podcast.

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