The fatal flaw of romantic love

GTU Featured Guest

Marriage and sex expert, Emil Harker, joined the Good Things Utah studio today to talk about the fatal flaw of romantic love. 

Emil talked about the eight types of love the Ancient Greeks first identified, and focused in on the two types of “passion love”: the first, being Romantic love, and the second known as Limerence. The Greeks called these two types of love, “Eros” and “Ludus” (there’s your history lesson for the day). 

Emil went on to describe the feeling of being in love as an intense, euphoric feeling that makes one feel connected, cherished, and desired. The initial process of falling in love is that limerence or Ludus feeling–you know, that “can’t sleep, can’t eat, can only gaze into your eyes” feeling. Romantic love, or Eros, on the other hand is the feeling of courting, pursuing love, and that physical yearning. So, how are these bad things?

Emil admits that these feelings are sensational, and in no way bad to experience! But here’s where the “fatal flaw” comes in. It’s the idea that romantic love only requires two things: true love, and being a good person. 

Within the first two years of marriage or courtship, it can be easy to stay motivated on keeping that romantic love alive. And once it begins to wane, many couples think they’ve fallen out of love and wonder to themselves what went wrong. When in fact, Emil said couples just have to nurture their relationship. In order to maintain that passionate, exciting kind of love, they have to exercise other types of love. 

To understand more about this concept and how to avoid temporary feelings of love, Emil is giving away free copies of his book to generate a greater awareness and help couples have happier, more passionate relationships. Just go to and click on “free book”. 

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