- On Good Things Utah this morning – What one woman says about becoming a mother for the first time and feeling unprepared. Can you relate? “I was never that woman who dreamed of becoming a mother. Did I envision myself with children? Sure, one day. But it wasn’t something that I lived and breathed. If it happened, cool; if not, that would be okay, too. For me — a now 32-year-old lanky, clumsy ‘tom-boy’ with limited ‘lady-like etiquette’ (currently writing this while devouring a box of Cheez-Its) who has spent the last 10 years traveling the world and living abroad — it was getting harder to picture myself as one of them: a mom.
- Nevertheless, I also thought how amazing it would be to bring a child into this world — the world I loved exploring so much. My husband and I always agreed that once we turned 30, we’d revisit the conversation about kids. When that day happened, needless to say, it crept up on us sooner than I thought, we felt it couldn’t hurt to “give it a try” and see what would happen. (If that alone is not telling of how completely naïve I was, then I don’t know what is).
- So, after throwing a 13-going-on-30 birthday party in the summer of 2021, we left for a trip to Romania (the first of any in two years due to the pandemic) and essentially rolled the dice. Six weeks later, I took a test, and I was very pregnant indeed. Up until that point, though. I was a lot of things: A traveler, a writer, an explorer, an anxiety-ridden individual who could never sit still very long. I still put my legs up on the dashboard as a passenger in the car (even though my dad warned me to stop doing this), lost my glasses constantly, and was often buried in a book with crinkled pages because I accidentally spilled water all over it. I felt all of these qualities were the opposite of how I pictured what a mom should be. Stability and routine weren’t my thing. I was still a nail-biter, and I lived in sweatpants (turns out so do most moms) and I liked my sleep. You know, someone who had their life together just enough, but not enough to be a mother.
- After all, shouldn’t a mom be, like, a MOM? Someone who makes a nutritious yet yummy breakfast at the same time every day? Who orders subscriptions, has set haircut appointments, and attends yoga classes on the regular? Someone who lives in the suburbs and drives a car bigger than a sedan? Luckily, my unexpected type-A personality helped with the big stuff: putting together the list of items we needed, ordering bottles and diapers, finding a pediatrician, folding her clothes and putting them away in the changing table storage containers, understanding developmental milestones, and hunting down formula in a national formula shortage, etc. But, how was I supposed to be seen out of my usual element, trading the backpacker backpack for a baby on the hip? Was I even physically strong enough to carry a baby (both while pregnant and after she was born)?” Tune in for more as our hosts dive into this Hot Topic and so much more this morning on GTU.
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