Changing the way you speak to your children

Good Things Utah

How often do parents stop to think about how they are speaking to their children? New guest, Claira Spackman, joins the show for another parenting moment segment and the importance of changing how we speak to our kids when we want them to behave in a certain way.

Spackman suggests stopping giving children ultimatums and threats. Instead, encourage conversations that talk about the feelings of both yourself and your child. Spackman likes to use three feelings empathy, feelings, and plan. Come to your children and explain that you understand how they might enjoy something they are doing, but relay to your children how it makes you feel. Use “I” phrases like “I feel ___ when you do ___.” Lastly, make a plan and direct their attention to something else.

Spackman says, “How you act towards your [children] is how they are going to act towards other people.” If you show your kids how to act and how to approach difficult conversations, they will model these things when engaging with others throughout their lives.

If you have been a “chronic threatener,” don’t feel bad! Spackman says this can be reversed by using these steps every day and validating your children’s feelings.

For more tips or to contact Spackman, follow her on Instagram.

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