Friendships can build you up and make you stronger, but some can be toxic in your life. Val Baldwin, Certified Relationship Coach is here to talk about how to both identify, and remove toxic friendships.
Friendships are important to everyone. Unfortunately, not all friendships are created equal. Some friendships produce a very positive impact on us, while others can produce a very negative impact. It is the difference between one who is a true friend and one who is a toxic friend. A toxic friendship can cause a lot of damage, emotionally, mentally, and even physically. If you’ve brought up your concerns with your friend and set boundaries with what you will allow, but they continue with their same behavior, then it’s time to say goodbye.
Here are the toxic friends you should remove from your life:
The Missing in Action Friend:
This friend forgets to return calls for months, doesn’t acknowledge your special occasions, and is generally MIA. When you do make plans, they are always rescheduling at the last minute or showing up super late. You should end it with this friend because they don’t respect your time or your life. You need to spend that time with those who do appreciate you as a friend and who are interested in your life too.
From asking you to help them spy on their ex to involving you in their get-rich-quick schemes, they are always trying to make you an accomplice to their shady plans. This kind of friend only wants a sidekick who will take the fall with them.
The Broke Buddy:
Whether it’s a friend who is always asking you to pay for their dinner and never pays you back, or a relative who expects you to pay for their life, remember you are a person and not an ATM. Remove those who don’t pay their way. In time you end up building resentment for always having to be the one to pay, and they will keep asking you to do so.
This friend makes you feel bad about your clothes, your car, and your staycation. Friends don’t make their friends feel bad about not having the money to afford the same lifestyle as they do. When you consistently allow someone to make you feel bad about yourself, you turn a great deal of mental power over to them. Most people are pretty critical of themselves. No one needs a friend who is so judgemental, critical, and thinks they are better than us simply because they have more money.
The Bitter Betty Or Negative Ned:
Everything is negative in their life and spending time with them makes you feel like life sucks. In your conversations together the topics are about them and their problems; and when you want to talk about something bothering you, they may listen for a brief moment before bringing the conversation back to them again. This kind of friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained and even used, rather than satisfied and content. Life’s too short to have to endure this type of negative and “all about them” kind of friendship.
Whether it’s who took the nicer vacation or who has better parenting skills, they are always trying to one-up you. It’s exhausting to try to be friends with The Competitor – and not worth it. Friends like this are usually using others to feel better about themselves. Seek out friends who support you and you’ll be a whole lot happier in all aspects of your life.
Find Val online.