Suicide victim kept secret from parents


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Updated: 12/03/2012 5:39 pm | Published: 12/03/2012 5:35 pm
Reported by: Marcos Ortiz
David Phan
David Phan
TAYLORSVILLE Utah (ABC 4 News) - A meeting between the parents of a 14 year old boy who committed suicide and the school district is being planned to avoid future situations like the one confronting Bennion Junior High.

Last week David Phan committed suicide in front of three of his classmates. His parents in a prepared statement were shocked to learn he had been bullied.

"The last few days have been an absolute living nightmare to learn that he was bullied in school where he was supposed to be in a safe learning environment," the family statement read.

But he didn't say anything to them this year.

"If he felt intimated or for any reason that information was never presented to the administration to take action," says Ben Horsley of the district.

And his parents had no idea he was troubled as of late. In the statement they write:

"David was an outstanding son, but he shielded his parents from the horror and negative experiences he was facing at Bennion Jr. High."

Nnow both his parents and the district want to meet to figure out what went wrong and to prevent this from ever happening again.

"We have reached out to them," Horsley says. "But we want them to be able to grieve and bury their son before we proceed,"

And the family also wishes to meet with the district. In their prepared statement:

"It is time for us to turn the hate David endured by bullies into a learning experience that will strengthen a divided community."

Horsley says the district already has extensive training on bullying and offer counseling for victims. He says students have several opportunities to make complaints. Horsley says school have drop boxes in which a student can remain anonymous and submit a complaint. The school also has a hotline in which students can talk to counselors.

Meanwhile, parents of David are preparing for burial Tuesday. In their prepared statement they wrote: "In lieu of flowers, an account has been set up at Wells Fargo under The Anti-Bullying Foundation in memory of David Phan. All donations will go towards anti-bullying education and outreach. All funeral expenses have been covered by David's family."

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Sugar4Mama - 12/4/2012 10:29 PM
0 Votes
A couple things that may want to be looked into are recent reports of a telegram that was sent to him saying a lot of nasty horrible things. The school was doing a fundraiser which for a dollar per telegram could be sent from one student to another. There are reports from students I know and another source I will not mention. Keep in mind that these are anonymous so unless a student is ready to call out another student on this... it is very hard to pin point who it came from however that telegram should be somewhere. The bullying has to STOP. I could turn in a handful of bratty kids myself from Bennion Jr. High that walk by my home on daily basis that I have witnessed to even illegal activity!! Another thing I heard from students were that he was constantly bullied and decided to take it into his own hands by defending himself. There may have been a baton in his locker for his protection. This however, could be rumored. This might have been one of the "personal issues" he was dealing with. Acting out because he felt as if he wasn't being protected himself. It upsets me with "personal issues". Being gay... bad grades...acting out... etc... yes all red flags for any child but his personal problems should not be to blame. These are all unforeseen ramifications which led to a VERY young boys death. I really hope that someone looks into this and people be held accountable. My deepest sympathy goes out to David's family and closest friends. My he rest in peace.

mzslatehorse1 - 12/4/2012 10:18 AM
0 Votes
If you have grown up here and ARE NOT LDS, you know how hard life can be as a teen & child...SOME, NOT ALL lds kids are mean!!!...I am a 33 yr old native amer. woman who lived in the millcreek/holladay area as a child/teen and many times in elem, jr high especially, kids were awful! 3 of my friends committed suicide when I was a teen: one in '94, one in '95, and one in '96. Those girls were my friends, and now I wonder how they would have turned out so many yrs later..My own experience in school: I was made fun off, had gym clothes stolen, called names, even told that wearing a cross on my necklace was wrong(i still dnt know whats wonrg with wearin a cross?!?) I basically an outsider. Wasnt asked to dances, nothing. I had very few friends and still do since I was raised here. I feel bad for this boy since jr high is already to be such a trying time for many kids...he will never have reached his full potential..and I am sure the school knew Something...but because of fear of a lawsuit,they ll have to say they didnt. THe kids who caused this should be prosecuted..just like that girl in the UK who hung herself over bullying. they brought those kids to justice-- DO THE SAME HERE!!...too many kids are dying bcuz of some kids who think its ok to treat their peers anyway they way. I'm with Dennis--prosecute those kids who caused this poor boy to feel he had no other option but death.

Dennis - 12/3/2012 11:01 PM
1 Vote
"PROUD PARENTS OF AN HONOR STUDENT AT BENNION JR. HIGH." I think not. Some stories do not make me proud to be an American. This is one of them. And yet, while the unconditional forgiveness of the Phan family is truly incredible, perhaps the donations received would be much better spent to prosecute the parents of the bullying brats who drove David to the point of utter desperation, from which there was no return. The least they could do is reimburse the Phans for the expenses they were forced to incur because of his untimely loss. Why waste those donations for proposed "anti-bullying and outreach" expenses when the lesson has already been taught and learned so vividly at no cost? -- except for the Phans, of course, who will be bearing it forever, regardless of any petty reimbursement they might receive from the parents of the brats who just put them through hell.

MariposaX - 12/3/2012 10:47 PM
1 Vote
Okay ... so he felt they wouldn't listen and wanted to protect his parents. That doesn't make sense unless you consider the possibility pressure was put on him to 'not be a troublemaker'. Students saw bullying. His cousin came in and spoke with staff, so they were aware that there was bullying still going on. But, by mentioning that the boy himself didn't report any (which we'll never know because he's not alive to give his accounting), the school district diverts attention from the fact they did know and took no action. I only hope the family requests complete copies of his educational, psycholgist and disciplinary files (which there'd have to be since the school claims he was having significant personal issues ... such as bullying, maybe?)

CA Native - 12/3/2012 9:41 PM
2 Votes
Utah is a difficult place to live in if you are not white or Mormon or a woman who happens not to be Mormon. I know, I am 2 of those descriptions. Working for State government, if you are woman and not Mormon, you get the cold shoulder....this poor child had to endure bulling from children of card carrying 'good LDS' parents daily. times haven't changed since my children went to school in UT - days of non LDS having to raise their hands when asked who wasn't LDS - being the last one picked for teams even tho they were really good players. And if they did get picked for a team, they sat on the bench cause all the church buddies could play. Times haven't changed..children learn from their parents - discrimination is a learned behavior - they learn it from their card carrying parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Camp Crusher - 12/3/2012 7:16 PM
0 Votes
I can't believe abc4 News deleted my comment just because what I said was true and that I'm a minority! -.- Anyway, I wanted to say I'm sorry for this family to lose their loved one. I'm sorry that this had happened to this kid. My deleted comment was that the school administrators will not care nor will they take action unless you are Caucasian. If you are minority, they ignore all reports or complaints that you made. I have never been bullied before but when I was in Elementary - High School, I have been discriminated and I'm still facing that to this day. When this incident happened, all of a sudden they denied that they never heard him complaining about being bullied in school just so they can get away with it. No wonder there's a Virgina Tech incident that happened thanks to people like school administrators and bullies. Stuff like this can be prevented if they listen and take action immediately before thing get worst but they (the administrators) do not care. Bullies are nothing but a bunch of cowards and low-life to the society.

Nunya - 12/3/2012 6:24 PM
1 Vote
Boxes for comments, counselling if needed, he didnt tell anyone. Whatever the school claims it offers obviously does not work. The other students interviewed on the news say they knew about the bullying for years. YEARS! The teachers and administration are guilty of assisted suicide, as are the tormentors. WHY are charges not being filed against those who caused and contributed to a death? Sounds like a lot of "not us he didnt tell us" , " me too, not my fault, please dn't let it be my fault." Disgusting students who will grow up to be just like the disgusting teaches and administration who let this happen.
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