How is your relationship doing during these difficult economic times? It is perfectly normal to be concerned, scared, and even terrified to lose your job, home, retirement fund, etc. But the one thing you also don't want to lose is your partner. Times like these require emotional resilience and strong coping skills to keep the love alive in your marriage. Here are some recommendations to maintain a healthy, strong, partnership.
• Let your spouse know how you're doing. If you're feeling especially irritable and worried, you are more likely to get angry, so give them a heads-up so that they don't take it as personally if you do. If you do get angry, sincerely apologize and let them know that it wasn't their fault.
• Recognize your annoyance with your spouse may stem from your anxiety and stress, rather than their behavior. So if you feel yourself getting annoyed, give yourself a time-out and remove yourself from the room to cool down before you say something that creates a conflict or hurts feelings.
• It is important for you both to work together on solutions. You are likely to feel resentment if you feel you are carrying the burden alone. Uncover positive actions by writing the problem as a question on a piece of paper and together brainstorm solutions. For example, the question could be, "How can we cut costs from our monthly expenses?" or "How can we create more income to have what we need and desire?" or "What ways can we still have fun and enjoy the simple,
inexpensive things in life". Taking action together feels more
empowering than lack of action and creates stronger unity, even if the results are not immediate.
• Avoid worrying and focusing only on the problem. What you focus on is what you will intensify in your life so focus on the positive solutions and the good things in your life. Start a ritual that every night before you go to bed, tell each other what 3 things you are grateful for along with saying "I love you". This will bring you closer and reduce your fear because research proves that your sub-conscious mind can't process gratitude and fear at the same time.
• Stay involved in activities that make you happy. It may be tempting to shut down and retreat in the face of financial worries, however, staying involved in what makes you both happy, whether these are activities you do alone or together, is not only better for your mood, it also helps you to think more clearly and be a better partner to your spouse.
Questions? Visit Val Baldwin's website at www.valbaldwin.com or call 801.664.1088.
About Val Baldwin
Val Baldwin, CPC, is a dynamic speaker and Certified Life and Relationship Coach. She’s inspired thousands of people across the country with her quick wit and upbeat energy showing people how to get along for greater success in life. Val also shares her valuable tips each week on the popular ABC TV show Good Things Utah.
Educated and certified in business, psychology and life and relationship coaching, Val brings over 23 years of corporate expertise in marketing, customer service and training. Combine this with her coaching practice techniques and the result is a wealth of knowledge and solution-based tools to boost people skills, build self-confidence, enhance communication and strengthen relationships.
Val speaks to a wide variety of organizations ranging from Nike to Youth Leadership Groups to High-Tech Corporations to Women’s Organizations. Her clients all understand the value of building people skills and strengthening relationships. Her newest project is co-authoring a book with Stephen Covey, Jack Canfield and Ken Blanchard, called Speaking of Success: World Class Experts Share Their Secrets.
Val resides happily in Salt Lake City, Utah with her husband of 28 years. They have 2 children. Her passion is to give people the skills and tools to live their ultimate lives NOW!
