Summer is prime time wedding season. Once the cake's cut and the bouquet's tossed, it's time to get down to the business of living as husband and wife. That's not as easy as it sounds! Whether you're engaged, newly married or been married for years, here are the 5 things you SHOULDN'T do after you say "I do."
1. DON'T SAY "MY FAMILY ALWAYS DOES IT THIS WAY." Everything you think about a relationship, from how to spend money to who does which chores, comes from your family. Guess what? So does everything you spouse believes! Think of building your marriage like you'd build a house. Using two different sets of plans only causes confusion and frustration. So come up with a new plan that belongs to you both.
2. DON'T THINK MARRIAGE WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY, BECAUSE IT WON'T. The biggest predictor of how happy you'll be after you're married is how happy you were before the wedding. No matter how you slice it, being happy is a do-it-yourself job.
3. DON'T BELIEVE YOUR PARTNER WILL CHANGE. They won't unless THEY make the choice to do so, so make sure you can deal with their bad habits before you say, "I do." If you try to change your sweetie, you'll wind up in a power struggle, and that makes for an unhappy marriage.
4. IF YOU THINK TALKING ABOUT THE HARD STUFF WILL TAKE THE ROMANCE OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE, GET OVER IT! Kids, money, moving, whatever your sensitive issues are, get them out into the open. Talking that stuff through will make you feel loved and accepted, and feeling safe with someone makes them the most desirable person in the world.
5. DON'T SHY AWAY FROM A FIGHT. Couples who claim they never fight are either fibbing or missing the chance to really build a strong relationship. The key is learning how to handle conflict - because that's what makes couples success in the long run. Couples don't give up on their marriage because they fight. They give up because they stop trying to work through their differences.
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Val Baldwin, CPC
Speaker, ABC TV Personality, Relationship Coach Helping people get along for greater success in life Salt Lake City, Utah
801-664-1088
val@valbaldwin.com
www.valbaldwin.com
