Relationship Coach/ Speaker Val Baldwin talks has three steps to insure your Valentine's Day expectations are handled in a loving, respectful, doable way for both of you.
1. Define Your Expectations. Make sure you know what you want to do for Valentine's Day. For instance, do you want to go out to dinner, have a romantic meal at home, receive a gift, exchange gifts with your sweetie, or pretend the day doesn't exist? Val says she often hears women complaining that their guy bought the wrong gift or picked the wrong restaurant. If you don't know what you want, how can you expect your spouse to? If you have an idea of what is "right", you and he deserve to know what it is, so you can both be happy on this pressure-filled day.
2. Have Realistic Expectations. It's perfectly normal to have expectations for your husband. Expectations like shoveling the driveway or helping with the laundry... giving a big hug when he comes home from work. We all have a general idea of who our spouse is and what we expect of them. The problem with Valentine's expectations is when they are not realistic and we use them to judge our sweeties or try to get them to be someone they are not. Having unrealistic expectations is what makes so many women disappointed on Valentine's Day.
3. Communicate With Your Partner What You Want. It's important to be clear about your expectations and to be able to share your thoughts. Your sweetie is not a mind reader and to expect him to be, is unfair and ultimately lead to disappointment. If you want to go out to breakfast, tell him. If you want chocolates and flowers, tell him. Then appreciate whatever that looks like because the man you love just spent time, money and energy trying to please you. You do need to be clear (spoken in a loving way of course) if you have certain expectations.
Another great option is to plan the day together, or split up the responsibilities. Maybe one of you plans the dinner and the other plans the "after dinner" arrangements. That way you'll both be happy with the result.
If you'd like to contact Val Baldwin, please visit:
http://www.valbaldwin.com.
